When I really sit down and think how I built my confidence, it always comes back to the foundation. It comes back to how I feel about myself, the way I talk to myself and the way I control my thoughts about my self. This all happens in my mind.

Everyday we have endless thoughts, conversations with ourselves but are we really conscious of them?? Speaking to other women of all ages, they too agree, we have conversations with ourselves about ourselves without even thinking. Our thoughts become habits, they become things, they become our reality.

So many of us have damaging thoughts in our mind everyday about our bodies. “I look ugly in that”, “I hate my arms”, “he doesn’t like fat girls”, “Ugh, I hate the way I look”. These thoughts become the way we feel about ourselves. These thoughts become the way we carry ourselves. 

Once I realized that the way I spoke to myself directly effected the way I felt, I controlled it in my own mind. I controlled and had power over my thoughts. The first step is to recognize them. When you’re having negative body talk, recognize that. When you’re getting dressed in the morning, when you catch yourself in the mirror, when you feel like you CANT do something, recognize it.

Step Two: Combat It

The cant’s will always stop you, always. Unless you become a warrior, bad ass, queen at combating that in your mind. Find three things you like about yourself, physically or not. Remind yourself of that. I created a mantra. I created a phrase, that pulled me through and reminded me who the fuck I was. It can be as simple as “I AM ENOUGH”. Whenever you feel like you cant or hear that negative body talk, recognize it and get your bad ass, warrior mantra out and think, “I AM ENOUGH”. Say it until you believe it. It feels insane. It feels stupid. It feels awkward but fake it until you make it. If you say, “I AM ENOUGH”, enough times it will become habit and you will believe it. I work on this everyday, it doesn’t happen over night. I still have moments of weakness, to be really honest, but I push through. I put on my warrior queen armor, that is my mantra and I push through. It works every time.

This is what I would like to focus on this week. Create a Mantra, USE IT. Write it down, post it, make art with it, sing it, celebrate it, put it on your mirror, on your fridge, in your notebook, put it ALL over.

1. Look in the mirror, really look at yourself.

 Look at your body, truly look. People don’t do this. Set a three minute timer and stare. Look at the body that has taken you through life. The body that has been your constant partner and if that isn’t enough to appreciate, find 5 things you love about your body or yourself. I like to do a list about physical traits and then a list of personality traits. It’s okay to love yourself. Keep this list and with your mantra, remind yourself why you’re awesome

2. Compliment People

Studies have shown that complimenting people has made people feel more confident. You recognizing in someone else, something that you like can be applied back to yourself. Aside from making someone else’s day, it makes you feel good. It’s as easy as a genuine compliment.

3. Self Care

Taking the time to take care of yourself is majorly important. Putting value in your time and reminding yourself that you’re valuable, is a game changer. Take a bath, read, write, sing, swim, hang out with supportive, loving people, whatever self care looks like for you.

4. Cleanse Your Palate

Take a look at all the media you are consuming. Does this add value to your life? Does it empower you? Are the people you follow on social media uplifting?? A major key *DJ Khaled voice* in changing negative body talk is curating what you expose yourself to. Especially on social media, follow women whose bodies look like you, not people who you deem #bodygoals only. Understand that social media is a completely commercial, made up place where people get to be whoever they decide to be, maybe not who they are actually. Don’t allow that to make you feel less than. Follow people who inspire you, follow people who share your passions, follow people who share beautiful pictures of something.

As someone who has never been clinically diagnosed with a mental disorder, I can not speak from that place. Anxiety, Depression, ADD, etc. are extremely valid. Mental health is very important and can completely effect confidence, self esteem and self worth. I am not a expert, so this weeks theme doesn’t focus on Mental Health, it focuses on controllable negative body talk and how that can effect self image.

That is this weeks theme. I will be posting check in’s and photo challenges on Instagram. Where you can share your mantras, share your experiences. Thank you so much for all the love and support, you all have enriched my life beyond what I can even express. This is for us +

-B

watch video, talking about my personal experience with negative body talk and the mind.

Couch Conversation #1 with Leah V. from @lvernon2000