If you follow along The B Word or know me personally, you know my dream, NO goal, is to star in film and television roles as a fat woman, where the story has nothing to do with my body and my size. This of course is part of my bigger plans to executive produce and create, film and television starring marginalized people, telling stories about marginalized people, created by marginalized people.
As a long time film fan and long time fat girl, I have always longed for fat girl leads I could identify with. I grew up longing to look like the women I saw on screen, not seeing myself represented. I grew up watching all kinds of movies but there is something about growing up a young girl in the early 2000’s that leads you to, now iconic, romantic comedies. The Nicholas Sparks era was strong during my preteen years and I was into it! Somewhere between, “A Walk to Remember” and “Never Been Kissed”, I started to buy into the thin girl is the love interest and the fat girl is the funny friend. It wasn’t until I was much older, that I could start to digger deeper emotionally, to see how much that shaped the way I saw myself and my place in the world.
Fast forward many years and an amazing man later, I wanted to recreate iconic romance movie moments but with, me as the fat lead. I imagined what that little girl at the sleepover would think, seeing someone similar to her on screen being loved, being desired and being the lead of the story. Being with my man, Matthew, and being loved so deeply by a man who I love so deeply, has been revolutionary in a way. This will be our second Valentines Day together and above all the support I feel being with him, crazy stupid fun we have and the way he really loves me, has changed the way I view love and for that I am so grateful.
I share this with you to not only celebrate our love *corny* but to say that all these movies had it wrong. All the romance movies I loved and still love, have it wrong. I as a fat woman, can have it all. I can be sexy, desired and loved for real. I can be the lead of my own movie, the center of my own story. I say this to truly encourage my fat women audience to demand exactly what you want in a partner, we deserve real love. We have been told and taught to settle for whatever love comes our way because of our size and I have been there, ohh I have SO been there *a story for a different time*, BUT that isn’t the case. I hope all of you have an amazing Valentines Day, either if your celebrating with a partner, a friend or the greatest love of all, yourself!
Happy Valentines Day! I love and appreciate you all!!
Photo Set One: Baz Luhrman’s Romeo and Juliet
Photo Set Two: Pretty Woman
Photo Set Three: The Notebook